To be sung to the tune of “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” here’s what Santa can bring our coaches this year.


Twelve second-guessers (Anything less than twenty is great).

Eleven great pregame speeches (Just call me Motivator of the Year).

Ten supportive parents (This seems greedy, but hey).

Nine All-Conference players (That’s all we were missing last year, right?).

Eight Bleacher Coaches (Coaches *seriously* love it when players look to the stands instead of the dugout for instruction. Love it.).

Seven assistant coaches (Since we’re being greedy).

Six fewer rainouts (Unless we’re on a losing streak).

Five major donors (It’s tax deductible!).

Four people who get it (Players, parents, anybody??)

Three indoor cages (Sure, Mr. A.D., hitting outside in the snow builds character, but still).

Two decent umpires (Need not even be in the same game, just in the same season).

And a Fungoman for practice drills (Seriously, have you seen this thing?).