Nearly a week ago, life as we know it changed for the indefinite future. Life as I knew it: teaching school, followed by baseball practice, awaiting the opening of the season…all of that came to a crashing halt when school and the season were suspended.
Obviously, these are minor concerns when considering the global coronavirus pandemic, but they are major concerns when considering the young men whose seasons are (at least) on hold.
People have asked me what I think about it all. As a Christian, pastor, coach, dad, I tell them the same thing–I don’t know what to think. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t know if this thing is as bad or worse than it seems. I don’t know when it will end. I don’t know, I tell them.
And I’m ok with that. I’m ok not knowing, even when I don’t feel ok. I’m ok, not because I’m an optimist, but because I’m learning again to trust the One who does know.
I’ve been reading the Psalms, the ultimate guide for those who don’t know. Over and over, the poets lament, cry out, wonder, complain, and express their utter confusion over what’s happening.
That’s where I am, perhaps where we all are. I believe we have permission to not know what to think. I believe the God of the Bible gives us that permission.
And, at the same time we don’t know what to think, we also have permission–and urging–to lean in to the One who does know, even if we aren’t sure what that means.
While that might sound confusing, it simply means that we don’t have to know. We don’t need to have all the answers. We don’t need to be able to make everyone else feel calm. We simply need to trust God, one day at a time, even as the world as we know it changes rapidly.
I don’t know what to think, but I know the Lord. Right now, that’s enough.